‘There’s no real solution here’

A man is wondering if he should accommodate his wife’s request to have a sober weekend getaway. 

He shared his story on Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum. His sister-in-law’s boyfriend recently got sober. The problem is that the poster planned and paid for a family trip to give his wife some family time. But his sister-in-law and her boyfriend won’t attend if there’s liquor around. 

“My wife requested I don’t drink beer on a weekend trip I paid for. We’ve been together seven years snd married for three,” he wrote. “I paid for a weekend of cabins in May for our family (wife’s side) because they haven’t all been together since COVID-19. My mother-in-law and father-in-law, her two brothers, one sister, their partners and kids. We found out today that my sister-in-law’s boyfriend joined AA sometime last year, and they won’t attend if there is any alcohol.” 

“I sprung for this trip because my wife deserves some much-needed, uninterrupted one-on-one time with family that isn’t over Zoom, and also because cabins/lakes/fishing/etc. has always been our way of celebrating hard work paid off.”

The issue was that he felt like he had a right to consume alcohol if he paid for the trip. 

“I love beer. My wife loves beer,” he wrote. “Our first three dates were at a beer bar. We held our bachelor/bachelorette party at that beer bar. She’s stopped drinking as much because of our age and how it hits physically. Two years ago, I started taking exercising seriously to prevent getting a dad bod as much as possible.”

“What the hell? I’m paying for everybody’s weekend, and I can’t open a beer while I wet a line at 6 a.m.? I can’t have a beer while grilling the fish we caught at 6 p.m.? All because one person might be uncomfortable? One who isn’t even married into the family?”

Redditors had mixed reactions to the delicate situation. 

“There’s no real solution here,” a user wrote

“I feel this is really about your wife and her asking if you can do this so she can see her sister. Yes, it is unfair for everyone to go without when one person has an issue. But in this case, your wife has asked, and the trip is for her to see her family,” another said

“I think it’s not that much to ask, and it means a lot to her. Just do it,” a person commented.

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